Perinatal Anxiety & Birth Trauma: Finding Calm After a Difficult Start.
- Joy
- Aug 28
- 4 min read
Updated: Sep 30
When Joy Feels Out of Reach:
Pregnancy and early parenthood are often painted as glowing, blissful times. And yes, there can be moments of joy and excitement. But for many families across Scotland, those months are overshadowed by perinatal anxiety or birth trauma.
If you’ve found yourself thinking “I thought it was just me” - you’re far from alone.
What Do We Mean by “Perinatal”?
Perinatal simply means the period from pregnancy through the first year after birth. It’s a time when your emotions and mental health can shift just as much as your body.
Research shows that around 1 in 5 women experience a mental health difficulty during this time. Anxiety and trauma are among the most common but often the least talked about.
What is Perinatal Anxiety?
Perinatal anxiety is more than “first-time parent nerves.” It can appear during pregnancy or after birth, and symptoms often include:
Racing thoughts or persistent worry (often about your baby’s safety)
Feeling on edge, panicky, or unable to relax
Difficulty sleeping, even when exhausted
A sense that you can’t “switch off”
UK and international data suggest anxiety disorders affect around 20% of parents across the perinatal period.
NICE guidance recommends early recognition and evidence-based care, including psychological therapies, for anxiety during pregnancy and the postnatal year.
What is Birth Trauma?
Birth trauma isn’t only about dramatic medical emergencies. It’s defined by how the birth felt to you - not by what it looked like on paper.
Even a physically straightforward birth can leave you feeling powerless, unheard, or frightened.
Signs you may be carrying unresolved trauma include:
Flashbacks or nightmares
Avoiding conversations, programmes or places related to birth
Feeling anxious about future pregnancies
Finding bonding harder than expected
Feeling low, disconnected, or doubting yourself as a parent
Meta-analyses suggest around 3–4% of women go on to develop PTSD after childbirth, with higher rates in high-risk groups. Partners can experience trauma too, especially if they felt helpless or excluded during the birth.
Why Does Trauma Happen?
When we feel threatened, overwhelmed, or powerless during birth, the nervous system can shift into survival mode - fight, flight, freeze, or fawn.
Instead of storing memories calmly, the brain “files” them as ongoing danger. This is why certain words, smells, or hospital corridors can trigger intense reactions long after the event.
And trauma isn’t always about emergencies. Sometimes the hardest part is the gap between what you hoped for and what actually happened.
Maybe you imagined a calm, supported birth - but felt rushed or unheard. Maybe you hoped for a vaginal birth, but needed an unplanned caesarean. That sense of loss of control matters, and it deserves to be acknowledged.
Case Studies: Real Stories of Healing
Finding Confidence After Loss S came to me pregnant again after a previous miscarriage. While excited, her pregnancy was clouded by fear worries about her baby’s safety, doubts about coping with labour, and anxiety triggered by hospital settings.
Together we worked on gentle antenatal education, grounding techniques, and creating a birth plan that helped her feel safe. Over time, she trusted her abilities, voiced her needs with her care team, and carried coping tools into labour.
Moving Beyond a Difficult Birth L reached out months after a birth that had left her shaken. She replayed moments constantly, second-guessed her parenting, and felt stuck in self-blame.
Through the Three Step Rewind process, we gently reprocessed her memories without reliving them. Combined with sleep strategies and small steps forward, she began to feel lighter, more present, and able to trust herself again.
How Three Step Rewind Helps
One gentle approach that has helped many parents is called Three Step Rewind. Originally developed by midwives and perinatal therapists, it uses deep relaxation (similar to hypnotherapy) to help the brain reprocess difficult memories.
Here’s how it works:
You share your story - as much or as little as you want.
We use guided relaxation to safely “watch” the memory, as if on a screen.
We reimagine the same experience, but with calm, safety, and control - helping your nervous system release the fear response.
Research into NLP and relaxation-based methods suggests this can reduce flashbacks, anxiety, and hyperarousal - leaving parents feeling calmer and more like themselves.
The Benefits of Support
When anxiety and trauma begin to lift, parents often notice:
Greater calm and confidence day to day
Improved, more restorative sleep
Stronger bonding with their baby
Clearer decision-making around birth and parenting
More joy and presence in the early days
Anxiety and trauma symptoms are linked with bonding difficulties, so reducing them can also support healthier parent–infant relationships.
Local, Accessible Birth Trauma Support in Scotland
I offer online support sessions for perinatal anxiety and birth trauma support in Scotland from Edinburgh to Glasgow, West Lothian to East Lothian. Because I’m local, I understand the Scottish maternity system and the realities of giving birth here.
Sessions include:
A listening ear - without judgement
Grounding and relaxation techniques for anxious moments
Coping strategies for postnatal overwhelm
Gentle processing of birth trauma using Three Step Rewind
Practical antenatal education for those preparing for another birth
This isn’t about “fixing” you - you’re not broken. It’s about giving you tools and confidence so you can feel more like yourself again.
You Don’t Have to Do This Alone
Whether you’re a first-time mum in Leith, a new dad in Falkirk, or a couple in East Lothian still processing a difficult start support is available, and it works.
I offer a free 15-minute call so you can ask questions and see if this feels right for you. No pressure, no judgement just a warm hello and the start of something lighter.
References
NHS, Mental health problems and pregnancy
NHS Inform Scotland, perinatal mental health prevalence
Dennis, C-L., et al. (2017). Prevalence of perinatal anxiety.
NICE (2020). Antenatal and postnatal mental health.
Ayers, S., et al. (2016). PTSD after childbirth. Psychological Medicine.
MBRRACE-UK maternal deaths report.
Slade, P. (2006). Anxiety and bonding difficulties. Journal of Reproductive and Infant Psychology.
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